A Jumbled Mess or Sauced with the Lost

Found and Returned

Splashes of color/ Soft lines drawn across your face/ A human canvas //// Beauty captivates/ Vision focuses on us/ My breath is taken //// I’ve found you, at last/ Our whole Life arises, new/ A poem itself ///

Thus begins what will hopefully be my reentry to writing. It’s been a year or so since I last wrote anything I’ve deemed worthy of posting. I found the girl I’d been searching for in all my previous works. It’s really a beautiful thing.

Continue To End

And I’m back to you
I steal glances and glimpses
Of our history

A different time.
A desperate glass wall stands here
Before us, separating.

“But how can you leave?!”
“I am not now truly here.
Lapse of existence.

I’m lost at sea! Look!
Does this not seem obvious?
I need some future

That you’re just not in.”
“Please, just take care of yourself.”
…oblivion. Nothing.

That’s the full absence.
Sanctity surgically lost
From peace, solitude.

The scene keeps going
Hours in community
But ever alone.

And in a moment,
Oblivion becomes me.
My world can exist.

The Phoenix rises
From decaying mortal life.
Calm meets solitude.

Commentary not found

Alto Gathering Sanity

Transient feeling!
Of hope for a future ‘us’
Why do you leave me?

I ride on your fence
I’m an eternal patron
But would I decide!

If I make a choice
I fear I’ll become ensnared
Trapped by decision

Yet I’m already!
Incapable of action,
Constricted, lost, stuck.

O perfect ideal!
Would you show yourself to me?
Spare me confusion

This doubt steals my will
But hope steels my love for you,
Assuming it’s you…

I’m done wasting time.
No more guessing and checking.
I’ve got to be sure.

Mystery life choice.
Hot, flaring emotions sway
Girl, please be The One.

Weary of worry,
Retiring, I settle.
Listen to that sound.

Tonight’s series is a summary of my feelings toward relationships right now. I hate being unsure about what feelings I have and who they are for. I just wish the right person would make it known to me that it’s her, directly or indirectly, the mere knowledge and assurance would make all of it so much easier. Til then, I’m trying not to worry about it, by making it a low priority in my life. It’s working pretty alright so far.

Past, Presence, and Sutures

Would you complete me?
It seems you already have,
Always I think of you.

Your beauty billows
Dancing among our pillows
We reach nirvana

You don’t know my love?
I’ll paint all your dreams with it
Cover you with me.

Drop your doubts, they’re gone.
I spread myself out for you
All revealed, please know me.

If it’s too early,
I’ll sit here for you, patient
In your waiting room.

Love knows but one bound:
A roadblock that’s too trying
For most to handle-

Foul, base distractions…!
But nay, surely nothing can
Interrupt a love?

Lost too easily
Those blissful feelings that once
Kept your world afloat

Abandoned quickly
Are the memories and dreams
Of our lives we had

And those we wanted
The prayers, life together
We were beautiful

Your kisses spoke lines
That can never be misheard,
Though you always were.

Tonight’s a reflection on love and lost love. This is about missing the bliss and comfort of love, and hoping for future love.

Here’s a shoutout to Kina! if you’re reading this, I really appreciate it!

Salted solitude

Sweetest connection
I’ll cherish your memory
Hoping for again.

Open our lives here
Splay them out for inspection
We’ll judge each other’s

Beautiful Bird, sing!
Thine eloquence astounds me
I observe speechless

Though still not with you
My glee rises and excites
At the mere prospect.

Loneliness is cold
The frigid emptiness shrieks
Rending the silence.

The sole survivor
I stand and view the wreckage
Surveying for life

The last man standing
Cannot stand for very long
For how could he last?

The deathgrip binds him
Solitude’s main weapon breaks
The hearts of strong men.

This isn’t a wildly deep or romantic series tonight, but mostly a reflection on being physically alone, as I am in my suite all by myself this evening and tomorrow. The beginning is about my most delightful rendezvous with a very dear friend (and haiku reader/muse. Over 40 of the haikus here were written about her) for the first time in ages today, er, yesterday. I want to shout out to you and let you know how meaningful it was for me to get to see you, and I can’t wait until next time! Thanks again for all the support I’m getting from my readers!

Romantic blubberings

Reflections on life
Evade our comprehension
Through another’s eyes

What do I most need?
I cannot say, but you can’t
Possibly know it.

If you do know it
You’re certainly not aware
And neither am I.

When that I know you,
Delicate ideal, you will
Be mine forever.

I’ll love being known
That is to say, understood
Feeling loving touch.

I’m not like others;
You’d already know by then
What I mean to you.

And if it’s you now?!
What sad farce is this of us
If we did not know?

Alas, time, dear love
And the future’s hold on us
Will still exist not.

If tis really you,
Gazing up through my façades
Seeing already,

I’ll share you my thought
You’ll dismiss me as silly
But we’ll both know it.

That we will be us.
Our old singularities
A thing of lives past.

Unbeknownst angel,
I pray you know it is me
At our encounter.

This twenty-minute haikustorm is initially a reflection on a conversation I had recently with a friend about what people individually cling to for meaning in life and what brings them peace and contentment. It goes on to apply that to the way my ideal woman would be, later still talking on how it would be such a shame if I was with her presently but unaware of how significant and impacting she would or could be eventually. So if this girl is you, please let me know.

Swift Sconeflagration

It’s never too late
But I am never on time
I apologize

Countless ceramics
Clarity, celerity
Cinders of corazons.

Cerebral splinters
Temporal terror tantrums
Parietal peace

Careening nearby
You teeter dangerously
Nearer to our verge

This is a short pier
Dare not go for a long walk!
Least not without me

Without you, I am
The blank page, my empty book
Unreadable, pale.

Carry me outside
To where the sun surely burns
Away my distress.

My sun, you liven
Flavorizing existence
Combine love with live.

I’ve gotta be in a weird emotional place right now. I mean, look at that! What’s going on upstairs? I’ve got a lot of crazy ideas going around, some hints of romantic intrigue, a dabble in wordplay, and serious testaments to bonds of friendship…lot on my mind. Here’s to life!

Tales of dissociative personalities

Silent letters form
The shapes and sounds of our love
Unheard, felt and known.

Seen in every scene
Tiny motions, melodies
Tapped out on my thigh

You spell you love me
Letters on my skin branding
Me as yours, “my love.”

Burrow underneath
The veneer, scraping gilded
“Real truth” off the top

Repaint my whole world
With our understanding
We are perfecting.

The plan has begun
We escape the other Way.
Poison for our souls.

Confusion crumbles
The blazed trail is our path now.
We will not succumb.

Weird night. Kinda all over the place, not really sure what I was going for, but it’s acceptable. Sooo, enjoy, if it is enjoyable. Really wouldn’t mind feedback on these, just to see how they make you, my readers feel. I already know how they make me feel…:P

A delving

Smiling terribly
The chasm separating
Our bodies grins

I appeal to you:
“I require you for mere
Will to continue.

How can you stay far?
This is too insufferable
To handle alone.”

I walked these hallways
Hoping to trip, fall for you
I’ve fallen again

It’s losing control
Of what I have wanted and
Knowing that you’re all

All I’ll ever need
All I could ever hope for
All I desire

Shrieking winds fly by
From our summit, they sound sad
Wishing they were us

O poor jealousy!
But it can’t be helped, can it?
So blissful a thing

Is always sought for
Though most cannot attain it
Perfect love is ours.

This is an introspection on feelings of longing and the frustration of experiencing harsh physical distance. It has a Divine Comedy -esque path, starting in what seems like an abysmal locale (i.e. Hell) and progressing to the blissful, nirvanic conclusion, or beginning of a perfect, new existence (i.e. Heaven).